3 Times Drake Wasn’t Ready For The Twerk
1. At The BRIT Awards
2. At the Miami stop of the ANTI Tour
3. In the “Work” video
3 Times We Lost Faith In The Mannequin Challenge
1. When Hillary Clinton did it
2. When a group of Dallas Cowboys executives attempted on a jet but were a little too shaky
3. When Allen Iverson didn't play along
… and 3 Times We Believed Again
1. When those little babies couldn’t stop moving their mouths
2. When that dog held still with a Dorito on his head
3. When we made one in The FADER's New York office
3 Times Bernie Sanders Reminded Us That Ball Is Life
1. When he celebrated his New Hampshire primary victory by splashing buckets
2. When The Guardian earnestly reported that “from mid-range he could kill you”
3. When he stayed balling at the Costco
5 Things That Don’t Feel Like They Happened In 2016 That We Don’t Want To Talk About
1. Justin Bieber basketball highlights
2. Harambe
3. The YACHT sex tape
4. Rostam leaving Vampire Weekend
5. Barb
5 Things That Don’t Feel Like They Happened In 2016 That We Do Still Want To Talk About
1. Drake basketball highlights
2. Zootopia
3. When President Obama and Anthony Bourdain had noodles and beer in Vietnam
4. Tyler, The Creator's Golf Wang fashion show
5. The Lobster
3 People Who Should Have Their Passports Taken Away From Them
1. Ryan Lochte
2. Donald Trump
3. Ian Connor
Things Memes Are Bigger Than Now
14 Songs That Might Have Helped Hillary Win Had She Chosen Them Over “Fight Song”
1. Sheer Mag, “Can’t Stop Fighting”
2. YG and Nipsey Hussle, "Fuck Donald Trump”
3-14. All of Lemonade
6 Inspiring Yet Completely Unexpected Surprise Guest Appearances
1. Lil Yachty, then mostly unknown, modeling in the Yeezy Season 3 show
2. Queens of the Stone Age sampled on Skepta’s “Gang”
3. Beyoncé performing at the Country Music Awards
4. Craig David featured on Kaytranada’s “Got It Good”
5. Alex G playing on Frank Ocean’s Blonde
6. Cass McCombs performing on Ellen
19 Times We Trusted Artists More Than Politicians
1. When Cardi B set the record straight on feminism
2. When Mykki Blanco called out nutritional racism
3. When Kelela shared a powerful statement on white privilege and allyship
4. When Beyoncé broadcast all the names of the black victims of police brutality at her show
5. When Anohni urged Obama to release Chelsea Manning
6. When Killer Mike vouched for Bernie
7. When Chino Amobi said support black businesses
8. When Solange showed her support for #NoDAPL
9. When Novelist called out David Cameron’s hypocrisy
10. When Kindness amplified the stories of Syrian refugees
11. When Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said white men don’t get to define what racism is
12. When Nicki Minaj spoke up on the need for strong women in politics
13. When Skepta said he’d rather be his best self than top of the game
14. When Wolfgang Tillmans did more for the Remain campaign than the Remain campaign did
15. When Little Simz said people should do their research before voting
16. When Metahaven said everything is propaganda now
17. When Young Thug listened to his mom
18. When Gucci Mane said “it’s a different generation. And it’s theirs, not mine”
19. When Metro Boomin said he didn’t trust Trump
2 Things We’re Going To Miss In 2017
1. Barack Obama
2. Kratom
4 Jobs Obama Should Take Next Year
1. Therapist
2. Lifestreamer on YouTube
3. NBA Commissioner
4. DIY rock promoter
5 Bands That Leah Wrote About That We Can’t Believe Are Real
1. Vomitface
2. Really Big Pinecone
3. Yucky Duster
4. Turtlenecked
5. Museum Mouth
Top 2 Side Dishes Yams Aficionado Shirley Caeser Forgot To Bring To Thanksgiving Dinner
2. Caramelized brussel sprouts
1. Broccoli
10 Emo-est Lyrics
1. “I thought that I was dreaming/ When you said you loved me” — Frank Ocean, “Ivy”
2. “My baby’s in Massachusetts/ And all this booze is useless” — Modern Baseball, “Mass”
3. “I just need my girlfriend” — Future, “Purple Reign”
4. “I wanna see the whole world/ I don't know how I'm gonna pay rent." — Mitksi, “My Body's Made Of Crushed Little Stars”
5. “Counting down the miles till we leave the state/ I'm counting down the minutes till I can erase/ every memory of you” — PUP, “If This Tour Doesn’t Kill You I Will”
6. “I'm always blamin' you, but what's sad, you not the problem” — Kanye West, “Real Friends”
7. “I’m just going to the store, to the store/ You might not see me anymore” — Carly Rae Jepsen, “Store”
8. “I'm sorry that I don't know how to love” — NBA Youngboy, “How to Love”
9. “I’ll sleep between y’all, it’s no thing” — Frank Ocean, “Self Control”
10. “I saw Leah on the bus a few months ago/ Saw some old friends at her funeral” — Pinegrove, “Old Friends”
10 Happiest Lyrics
1. “Aw shit, no more nights starving/ I believed in me all year and came out on top balling” — Kamaiyah, “I’m On”
2. “You know it sure is nice/ To have a sexy sweet woman… You know there's lots of pretty girls/ You make 'em all seem so dumb” — Natural Child, “Sure Is Nice”
3. “I’m not dead and I feel better than last time I talked to you” — Teen Suicide, “I Don’t Think It’s Too Late”
4. "You're a rancid girl/ In a rancid world/ But I don't mind” — Cass McCombs, “Rancid Girl”
5. "Our love isn't plastic/ But here's my credit/ Why not go max it” — Craig David, “Got It Good”
6. “I just copped a jet to fly over personal debt” — Kanye West, “Famous”
7. “I had to make a track to say I'm proud of you/ Stop that track to tell my children that I'm proud of them” — Gucci Mane, “All My Children”
8. “Me and bae Bonnie Clyde, everything we do right/ Love her vibe, love her vibe, she make me feel so nice/ She 100, the first day we met she let me fuck all night” — Young Thug, “RiRi”
9. "Our love's strong like Mufasa and Simba/ Never need to download Tinder” — Skepta, “Text Me Back”
10. “And I'm loving all races, hell nah I don't discriminize” — Quavo, “Pick Up the Phone”
4 Comebacks We’re Pretty Sure We Willed Into Existence
1. Dave Chappelle
2. Teyana Taylor
3. Gucci Mane
4. Sean Paul
5 Britney Spears Instagrams That Made Us Wonder What Life Really Means
1. When she described a chessboard as "very interesting"
2. When she captioned a picture of Elvis eating breakfast "as good as it gets!"
3. Her second chess-themed Instagram post
4. "Animal instincts"
5. When she posted a creepy photo of what might be a time capsule, captioned "what lies beneath"
3 Supporting Musicians Who Upstaged The Main Show
1. The guy playing guitar in a balaclava for Future on SNL
2. The sassy sax dude from Beyoncé’'s CMA performance
3. Korn surprising the Korn tribute band Korn Again onstage in the U.K.
6 Most Punk People Who Didn’t Make Punk Music
1. Miranda Lambert
2. Little Simz
3. Chino Amobi
4. Jeremy Corbyn
5. Shailene Woodley
6. 21 Savage
2 People Who Weren’t Punk At All
1. Chloë Grace Moretz
2. Ted Cruz
4 Frogs That Had A Bad Year
1. Toughie the Rabbs' fringe-limbed treefrog, whose death sent his species into extinction
2. Pepe
3. The frog dad on Planet Earth II whose kids were eaten by wasps
4. Kermit upon being referred to as “Tea Lizard”
All The Times Drake Was Self-Aware This Year
1. When that billboard said “Views was actually pretty good.”
Top Times Steven Adams Got Kicked In The Nuts By Draymond Green
3 Times We Wished Joanne Was Scamming Us
1. Trump winning
2. Brexit
3. When Zach Braff was confirmed to star as Alex Blumberg in the in-development ABC sitcom about the meta-podcast StartUp
5 People Who Actually Might’ve Had A Good 2016
1. Virginia McLaurin, the 106-year-old woman who danced upon meeting the Obamas
2. Teyana Taylor
3. Simone Biles
4. Ken Bone
5. Donald Glover
5 Best Supporting Performances On Film
5. Viola Davis, Fences
4. Michelle Williams, Manchester By The Sea
3. Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
2. Shia LaBeouf, American Honey
1. Shia LaBeouf’s rattail, American Honey
4 Times We Wish We Were Dating Keyshia Ka’oir
1. When she and Gucci Mane rode with the top down
2. Whenever she works out
3. When she raps all the words to a Gucci Mane song on IG.
4. When she had Gucci Mane in a waist trainer
3 Robots We Don’t Trust
1. Chloe from Best Buy
2. The staff of the peopleless grocery store Amazon Go
3. Michael Sheen in Passengers
3 Steps Toward Dystopia We Were Willing To Take
1. Allowing Uber to track our location 24/7
2. Downloading Pokémon Go
3. Waking up every morning
Top 2 Times Tina Knowles Was Our Favorite Music Critic On Instagram
1. When she described A Seat At The Table as "an awesome, socially conscious , beautiful to listen to, Delicious to look at, (the visuals are amazing Art pieces , thought provoking to analyze , (the lyrics are clever , funnny, relatable and deep! The message is one of pride , anguish , frustration and triumph. She did the damn thing. A must hear!”
2. When she reviewed "Formation": “Soo proud of the black and Louisiana culture this video shows! "I got that hot sauce in my bag" 😄”
4 Times YG Was Zaddy
1.
2.
3.
4.
7 Rap-Indebted Fashion Accessories That Were In
1. Fuzz balls
2. Neck pillows
3. Hockey jerseys
4. Large-ass coats
5. Vintage Cartier glasses
6. Dad hats
7. Manic Panic hair dye
3 Rap-Indebted Fashion Accessories That Were Out
1. Future hats
2. Hoverboards
3. Ski goggles
Vines We Will Never Forget
1. All of these
2 People Who Actually Got A Wayne Verse This Year
1. Chance The Rapper
2. Solange
3 Cameos On Atlanta That Made Us Lose Our Shit
1. R3tro Sp3ctro
2. Migos
3. Lloyd (and Jaleel White)
118 People Who Made Heaven Cooler
Prince
David Bowie
Bankroll Fresh
Muhammed Ali
Bill Cunningham
Taylor Crenshaw bka Nicole Milfie
Shawty Lo
Gwen Ifill
Phife Dawg
Anton Yelchin
Zsa Zsa Gbor
John Glenn
Afeni Shakur
Leonard Cohen
Big Ang
Pauline Oliveros
Dylan Rieder
David Mancuso
Fidel Castro
Elie Wiesel
Zaha Hadid
Sharon Jones
Craig Sager
John Saunders
Alan Vega
Garry Shandling
Pete Burns
Chyna
Alan Thicke
Alan Rickman
Lor Scoota
Merle Haggard
Gene Wilder
All the victims of the Oakland Ghost Ship fire
All the victims of the Orlando Pulse nightclub shooting
3 People Who Are More Qualified To Get Positions in Trump’s Cabinet Than Anyone He’s Actually Appointing
1. Evil Kermit
2. Dr. Love
3. Flossie Dicky
8 Quavo Features We Couldn’t Live Without
1. “Pick Up The Phone,” Travis Scott and Young Thug
2. “Long Time,” Ty Dolla $ign
3. “Good Drank,” 2 Chainz
4. “What You Doin,” Trouble DTE featuring Quavo and Young Thug
5. “Dab Of Ranch,” Rap Snacks Jingle
6. “??? (Where),” Ty Dolla $ign
7. “F Cancer,” Young Thug
8. “Come Thru,” Blac Youngsta
8 Things Yeezy Model (And FADER Staff Writer) Lakin Can Reveal About The MSG Show Without Violating Her NDA
1. There were so many people under that tarp
2. We all got along
3. When “Father Stretch My Hands Pt.2” came on, people struggled to hold their poses because the beat knocked so hard
4. There was only one white girl among the extras
5. People went hard for the vegetarian lunch options
6. At 24, I was older than almost everyone
7. North West ran up and down the row while her mom and aunts danced to all TLOP.
8. Kanye West looked at me and said “Thank you” as he walked out of the stadium
8 Times Cardi B Made Feminism For Everyone
1. When she reminded us that pimples are “normal"
2. When she defended women who choose to get plastic surgery
3. When she clapped back at haters with her resumé
4. When she pointed out that strippers are hustlers too
5. When she preached financial literacy
6. When she said feminism is "different women supporting each other"
7. When she preached safe sex
8. When she literally told us feminism is for everyone
4 Emotional Stages to Seeing the Sean Penn / El Chapo Photo
1. “How did El Chapo get backstage at the CMTs.”
2. “Good grip.”
3. “GOOD SHIRT.”
4. “Holy shit Sean Penn is a good journalist.”
2 People Who Earned A Sabbatical For 2017
1. Yes Julz
2. Lena Dunham
8 Late Night TV Performances That Didn’t Sound Like Shit
1. Anderson Paak doing "Silicon Valley" and "The Season" on Colbert
2. Chance The Rapper (+ D.R.A.M., Ty Dolla Sign, Anthony Hamilton, Raury) on Fallon
3. D.R.A.M. doing “Broccoli” on Conan
4. Solange doing “Rise/Weary” on Fallon
5. Kanye West doing “Ultralight Beam” on SNL
6. Aminé doing “Caroline” on Fallon
7. Sampha doing “Blood On Me” on Colbert
8. Christine and the Queens doing “Tilted” on Fallon
6 Things We Still Think TLOP Stands For
1. The Loop Of Poopaloop
2. The Lord Of Pies
3. That Large Open Port
4. The Life Of Peter [Pan]
5. The Life Of Panye
6. Terrible List Of Puns
11 Songs From 2015 That We Listened To In 2016
1. Bankroll Fresh, “Real Trapper”
2. Wiki, "God Bless Me" ft. Skepta
3. Quarterbacks, "Not In Luv"
4. Kamaiyah, “How Does It Feel”
5. Dawes, “All Your Favorite Bands”
6. Nicole Dollanganger, “You’re So Cool”
7. Young Thug, “Constantly Hating”
8. Rae Sremmurd, “This Could Be Us”
9. Elvis Depressedly, "Rock N' Roll"
10. Juiceboxxx, "Follow Your Fucked Up Dreams"
11. Ty Dolla $ign f. Big TC and D-Love, “Miracle/Wherever”
11 Emojis We Still Need
1. Two black ballerinas
2. A condom
3. A marijuana leaf
4. Butt crack
5. Iced Coffee
6. Freshly done eyebrows
7. A smiley wearing headphones
8. A smiley with a pimple
9. A smiley face that accurately depicts dread
10. A glass of rosé
11. A silhouette of a witch flying across the moon
6 Collaborations Rumored In 2016 That Didn’t Come Out, But That We Hope Still Do
1. Chance The Rapper and Childish Gambino
2. Lil Yachty, Soulja Boy, and Lil B
3. Drake and Kanye West
4. Beyoncé and Mariah Carey
5. Drake and Skepta
6. Swae Lee and Wizkid
11 Imaginary Words Nazuk Said And What They Actually Meant
1. “Scoop a Loop” — a scoop, presumably of ice cream or gelato
2. “Heauxm” — home
3. “Palaroni” — a close friend
4. “Snuppy” — a puppy snuggie
5. “Brewskadoo” — beer
6. “Sangwiche” — a sandwich, but better
7. “Froidoi” — Friday
8. “Yucksauce McGee” — violently repulsive
9. “Brehodie” — bruh + brodie
10. “Smartifact” — an item that shows a person’s intelligence
11. “Trashola & Cheese” — usually to describe a corny, garbage human
Artists We Hope To Hear More From Next Year
Young Thug
Kilbourne
Lana Del Rey
Perfume Genius
Maleek Berry
Popcaan
Thundercat
Sarah Shook
Lil Ugly Mane
Retch
Mister Wallace
Quay Dash
Richard Kennedy
Kelela
Myd
TOPS
Jessie Ware
Steve Lacy
Toro y Moi
Girlpool
Vagabon
Wiki
Fifty Grand
From The Collection:
LISTMANIA 2016