Over here in the UK, we are in the midst of a funky house instructional dance video cataclysm, an apocalyptic deluge of post-Soulja Boy dross inspired by KIG's "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes". The road ahead will be long. Our eyes and ears will weep. We may not get beyond this in one year or even by the time the holiday season ends in Napa next summer, but thefader.com, I have never been more hopeful than I am this afternoon (US time) that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there.
By the way, the above is Bigzy & Unkle's "RingaRoses", which, as you will probably notice, looks like a curdled remake of the video for Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" by a church youth group.
This one is "Jump in the Middle and Skank" by Play Ent. There's a good bit just after the middle when a police car drives by in front of the camera while they are filming in the car park.
This is the "Tribal Skank", or, as I like to call it, "The Paranoid Schizophrenic Excitedly Waiting For the Bus in the Cold" dance. This dance is way too complex to catch on. Does there really need to be four totally different sections? Bonus points for doing the instructional video in the kitchen at the old people's home where you work though.
This one is "Skank Calm Down". I've also seen the same dance referred to as the "Tribal Skank". Regardless, I'm pretty sure the Chippendales used to do this routine back in the day. (Incidentally, the Chippendales have rebranded themselves as Here Come the Boys and are back, FYI.)
This one, the "Migraine Skank", is the best I have come across so far. It's a pretty accurate depiction of what I usually do when I hear the song (without any of the neck movements or dancing). It misses off the bit at the end where I pick up a cricket bat and repeatedly batter the radio until it sparks and catches fire and burns to a cinder though.
Finally, to end on a much more positive, less violent note, why not check out a brand new mix by Gabriel from The Heatwave. It's 79 of his favourite bashment tracks from last year mixed together into 74 thrilling minutes of misogyny, sex and mild homophobia. Expect crossover hits like "So Special", "Ramping Shop" and "Click Mi Finger", and irresistible rhythms like Sky Daggering, Dung A Town and Money Tree.
Download: The Heatwave's Rowdy Bashment 2008 mix
Go here for a full tracklist.