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Listmania 2024

The year that was, summarized in silly and occasionally insightful short-form lists.

December 23, 2024

In 2017, The FADER published the final installment in our long-running Listmania series, a collection of goofy and insightful lists celebrating and summarizing the year that was. Seven years later, not much of note has changed in the music industry or, indeed, the world at large, so we figured what the hell, let's bring it back. If music and culture in 2024 was one big hazy blur for you, read on for everything worth remembering about the past 365-ish days.

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4 reasons you should not get in Bossman Dlow’s car

"I'm drivin' the Bentley Bentayga like I don't love my life (Skrrt)" - "Get In With Me"

"I'm in a foreign truck getting beat up by these Perkies (Perkies)" - "Pressure"

“Speed limit say sixty-five, but I'm doin' a hundred, nigga (Vroom)” - "Boss Talk"

"I'm in the Dodge Charger tryna dodge a case, nigga (Skrrt, skrrt, skrrt, skrrt, skrrt)" - "Mike Smiff"

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Words that were in

Yapping
Brat
Two dumb bitches telling each other “exactly”
Brain rot

Words that should be out

Demure/mindful
______-maxxing
Brat
______-ification
Delulu
Vibe
Eras

The best movie music cues of 2024

Take That, “Greatest Day (Robin Schulz rework)” (Anora)
The Pointer Sisters, “Send Him Back” (The Beast)
Coldplay, “Viva La Vida” (Rap World)
Cobrah, “Brand New Bitch” (Kinds of Kindness)
New Order, “Leave Me Alone” (Queer)
Suicide, “Dream Baby Dream” (Civil War)
T. Rex, “Get It On” (Longlegs)

The official Himbodome moodboard

Miller High Lifes
The Power Broker
Basketball
Pixar’s Cars
Doug Dimmadome, specifically the very tall hat he wears
Lana Del Rey marrying an alligator tour guide
Those Casio F91W-1 Solid State watches
Yacht rock
Steely Dan
“Spirit Yellows probably. I am not a himbo and therefore don’t know what goes on in the Himbodome.” – Raphael Helfand

And I’ve got a houseboat docked at the / Himbodome / And a wristwatch that’s a / Pocket knife and a megaphone

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10 times Bladee didn’t want to hang out with you this year

“I can’t work out what’s your vibe but I do feel I’m above it / To be honest, I don’t love it, running to it, running from it” (“YUNG SHERMAN”)

“I don't want your friendship, don't even wanna bе next to you” (“ONLY GOD IS MADE PERFECT”)

“Do you know what you are to me? / You are nothing unfortunately” (“LOWS PARTLYY”)

“Man, please, give me space to breathe, haven’t slept in weeks” (“FUN FACT”)

“Stop all that talking, can’t you see I’m in the night often” (“RED CROSS”)

“Please stop talking like you know me, bro, somebody get your mans” (“SAD MEAL”)

“Stop that talking like you know me / We are not friend, just send the money” (“KING NOTHINGG”)

“Don’t care about your status, that shit played out / I don’t care if you’re rich, I don’t wanna hang out” (“DONT WANNA HANG OUT”)

“If you’re not GTB, I don’t wanna hang out / If you’re not SG, I don’t wanna hang out / If you’re not Drain Gang, I don’t wanna hang out / Man, long story short, I don’t wanna hang out” (“DONT WANNA HANG OUT”)

“I’m not so sure I wanna hang out / Blinds down in my house, I don’t wanna hang out / Doors locked on the safe / I don’t wanna hang out" (“DONT WANNA HANG OUT”)

4 rap albums we wish we could blame on A.I

Destroy Lonely, LOVE LASTS FOREVER
ian, Goodbye Horses
Dave Blunts, Well Dude Here’s My Thing
Future & Metro Boomin, We Don’t Trust You

Artists that matched each other’s freak

A$AP Rocky and Jessica Pratt
Matty Healy and Azealia Banks
Cash Cobain and Bay Swag
Noel and Liam Gallagher

White Rapper Power Rankings (Worst To Best)

Post Malone
MattyBRaps
Jack Harlow
Jelly Roll
Lil Kris
Eminem
Snow Strippers
Babytron
ian
Jorjiana
HOLOTTACHEESE
BLP Kosher
Nettspend
Kura
1900Rugrat

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5 things that genuinely happened in J. Lo's This Is Me... Now

Jennifer Lopez, known only as The Artist, rakes through her romantic history looking for guidance. Fat Joe is her therapist.

Ben Affleck, appears only in silhouette as a motorcyclist. (He also plays cable-news pundit Rex Stone in heavy prosthetics)

J. Lo gathers her “Zodiac Council,” an astrology-themed group of friends she turns to for advice. Among the group is Post Malone (Leo), Jane Fonda (Sagittarius), and Neil DeGrasse Tyson (Taurus).

At one point during “This is Me … Now: A Love Story,” a friend notes that watching J. Lo’s love life is like bingeing Vanderpump Rules.

While reading a collection of love letters J. Lo is visited by a CGI hummingbird.

A possibly incomplete list of Drake's losing bets of 2024

$700,000 on Sean Strickland beating Dricus du Plessis
$565,000 on Tyson Fury beating Oleksandr Usyk (May)
$500,000 on the Dallas Mavericks to beat Boston Celtics (June)
$300,000 on Canada to beat Argentina in the Copa América final (July)
Himself

Stats via https://thedrakecurse.com/

Worst album covers of 2024

Aphex Twin ironically repurposing corny bootleg merch with a RedBubble Pen and Pixel-ass design for Music From The Merch Desk
Tears For Fears going AI for Songs For A Nervous Planet
Ice Spice ditching the thrilling original Y2K cover for David LaChappelle's whatever one
Eminem's getting insanely twisted for The Death of Slim Shady: Coup De Grâce
Takashi Murakami parodying himself for Juice WRLD's The Party Never Ends
This.

Perfumes and their song pairings, 2024 edition

Tryst by Hiram Green // “4Ever” by YhapoJJ
165 BPMs by Ufoparfums // “Toast” by Flo Milli
Cave Art by Deep Field // “Hold My Hand” by Pablo Skywalkin
Nympheas by Kismet Olfactive // “BB Belt” by Ice Spice
Caji by Chris Rusak // “XTREMELY CAREFUL” by LUCY (Cooper B. Handy) & SURF GANG

Top Boom Family members, ranked

1. The Rizzler
2. A.J
3. Big Justice
4. Uncle Sevasta
5. Jersey Joe
6. Cousin Angelo
7. Baphomet
8. Jimmy Fallon

The three jokes on Night Palace, Mount Eerie’s funniest album to date

“Too small a slice of the night sky / Through an empty paper towel roll” (“Empty paper towel roll”)

“So what? I saw another raven / I actually see them all the time” (“I saw another bird”)

Phil Elverum (as Mount Eerie): “I told a fish / ‘I like how you move through the water as one flowing muscle’ / The fish said,”
Jeff Bridges (as The Dude (as The Fish)): “I dig your style too, man.” (“I Spoke With A Fish”)

4 things we held space for

Actually good B-boys and B-girls
Mud wrestling
Alfie Whiteman
Moo Deng

Comebacks we needed in 2024

SahBabii
Beth Gibbons
Young Thug
Clara La San
Christopher Owens
Oasis
Mustard
SOPHIE
Jussie Smollet

Comebacks 2024 can keep

Mashups
Shoegaze
Right-wing Christian nationalism
Jussie Smollet

The 11 most creative capitalization schemes on TisaKorean’s iN siLLy we tRust

1. "gaGGin"
2. "TiGGeR"
3. "sTrUt nAtIoN"
4. "bEat uP dAt bOy"
5. "MiKeToMlIn"
6. "lEgs In tHe aIr"
7. "gLaSs oF WaTeR"
8. "SiLlY SuRf"
9. "lOvE LeTtEr"
10. "AlL FaXs"
11. "RoTaTe Lyrics"

Biggest red flags on our Spotify Wrapped

Too much Bladee — Raphael
A The 1975 song from 2022 – Cady
Tommy Richman, “MIllion Dollar Baby” — David
More Fred Again… than I’d like to admit (one song) — David
ian’s best song “Never Stop” — Vivian
500 minutes listening to The Hellp — Steffanee
Not enough Bladee — Raphael
Entire Wrapped consisted of ghost artists — Jordan

Albums that came in after the year-end list deadline that we really liked

Cameron Winter’s Heavy Metal
Chino Amobi’s Eroica
Kim Deal's Nobody Loves You More
Lazer Dim 700’s Keepin It Cloudy
Father John Misty's Mahashmashana
Squanderers’s If a Body Meet a Body
Sahbabii’s Saheem
U’s Life Isn’t a Fountain?
Upsammy's Strange Meridians
Colle's Montalvo
Aphex Twin's Music from the Merch Desk 2016-2023
LUCY’s Cooper B. Handy’s Album, Vol. 9
quinn’s stars fell on trench
Valee & Surf Gang’s Grey Sky London EP
Shabaka’s Possession EP
Kassie Krut’s self-titled EP
Amen Dunes’s Death Jokes II

Our 2024 hyperfixations, ranked

The Rizzler
Late of the Pier

Posted: December 23, 2024