The astrological signs as Spice songs

There’s no other sign that heeds more to tradition than Capricorns. Wise, sensible, ambitious and practical, Capricorns are the sign that remind you not to forget the people that come before you, so of course, what better song to represent them than “Romantic Mood”. The song is an homage to the women of dancehall’s queens of the pack (shoutout to Patra!) like, Althea and Donna, Sister Nancy, Sister Charmaine, Dawn Penn, Sasha, Marcia Griffiths and Lady Ann. More of Capricorn’s appreciation for the good ole times is elicited through the video and production too, as the record’s riddim is a refix of the 2005 Giggy Riddim, and the visual, a throwback to the style and feeling of dancehall in the 80s.

Ever mindful of the world around them and their position in it Aquarians cyaa rest, as they’re forever thinking with their humanitarian hats. For that reason, it makes total sense that “Black Hypocrisy” has the air sign written all over it. Based on the artist’s own experiences having faced a fair amount of colourism in her personal life and in the industry, she created the single and pretended to bleach her skin (she’s a very bold and dramatic Leo, this is part of her DNA!) as a way to raise awareness.

Everyone needs a supportive friend and no other sign will ride out for you like a Pisces. Of course the perfect song that describes a Pisces is “Yass Goodie”. So a likkle story: during the 2017 Miss Universe competition, eva bless goodie and popular Jamaican radio host, Sparkie, took to Instagram to show her support of then-Miss Jamaica, Davina Bennett, as she walked across the stage during the swimsuit section. She began to scream, “Yass goodie” as she named off a host of Jamaican dishes Bennett likely ate to achieve her body—steam fish and okra, susumba, cassava, the dasheen and, of course, di boil dumplin widdi cassava inna it. Spice later sampled this for the single which can be heard right at the beginning of the record.

Aries are the people that make things happen. Their infectious charm gives them the gift to talk their way in and out of every situation with ease. Remember, the Aries is a ram! If there’s a will, Aries will find a way, so there’s no better song to pair them with than “Needle Eye”. In the video, Spice’s step-sisters get ready to go to the dance, leaving Spice at home alone until her fairy godmother gives her all that she needs to go. Just when you thought you’re about to one up an Aries, like Spice, they come in and mash up the place.

Ever ambitious and about that paper (seriously, do not stand in the way of them and their money), “Duffle Bag” embodies all things Taurean. They love luxury, quality, they’re the ones that force you to say charcuterie instead of cheeseboard and they likely know the difference between which wine flutes to serve the correct wine or champagne in. They’re a tad materialistic, but mostly because they really do have aspirations to enjoy the finer things in life and diligently work towards acquiring them. In “Duffle Bag”, Spice is seen surrounded by a wulleap ah money, riding in a Rolls Royce and later boards a private jet. If that’s not real Taurus energy, I don’t know what is.

Now, we had to make an exception to accommodate the double-faced nature of Geminis. Adaptable, social, and indecisive, are some choice words to describe this sign, but you never truly know what you’re gonna get, so expect anything. It’s because of this why both “Cool It” and “Under Fire” are the antithetical records that best represent the duality found with the Twins. Can’t choose one? Have both! That’s the life of a Gemini.

Crybabies, lovesick messes...you decide! Of course there’s no better song to match these moon children with than Spice’s “Rudeboy Love” featuring Pinchers (real fans know!). Listing the ideal traits of her partner, Spice channels her inner Cancer opening up the song with “I’ve been searching but it’s so hard to find / good loving and some piece of mind”, a true indication of some water sign’s deepest desires. When they’re not taking a dip in the pool of nostalgia or suffocating their friends and family with overbearing love, they’re dreaming about finding “the one”. If you have the “Rudeboy Love” requirements, shoot your shot with a Cancer.

Peak Spice is her 2006 single “Fight Ova Man”. If a Leo shared traits with any song out of the artist’s discography, this would be it, because Leos doh watch face. Like Spice, they are confident, straightforward, and they may have a bit of an ego, but they can certainly back it up. In true lioness form, “Fight Ova Man” is a cautionary warning letting everyone know that Spice knows who she is and refuses to fight any woman over a man.

Virgos are the perfect balance of beauty and brains. Detailed-oriented perfectionists, yes, they are basically living computers. It’s obvious that Spice’s “Beauty and Brains” embodies the essence of all things Virgo. In this song, Spice tells you about herself and her haters using words that even I didn’t know exist (plus, how did she get them all to rhyme?). If it looks like a Virgo and sounds like a Virgo, it’s a Virgo!

The ever cool, calm and collected Libra is #unbothered personified. A social butterfly, likely the most fashionable person in the room and the one everyone wants to know and be, Spice’s “Stress Free” is their anthem. In the single, she lets people know that her life is rid of any unnecessary stress and problems, which sounds like the ideal life for any Libra.

Scorpios are wildly misunderstood, (I empathize with my fellow water kin) but, one thing’s for certain, they are incredibly driven and will let no barriers top them in pursuit of their goals. “Like A Man” is a reflection of Scorpio’s inquisitive mind as Spice interrogates the barriers women artists are face and suggests that, had she been a man pursuing dancehall, she would not have to face the same issues. Her glaring critique on sexism is a footnote four years later, but as in true Scorpio fashion, she’s been able to defy what’s expected of her by doing remarkably well in comparison to many of her peers who are men.

Sagittarians are candid and honest and though most of the records in Spice’s discography take on the same nature, “So Mi Like It” truly embodies all things Sag. Sure of their wants and desires, Sagittarians chase after their ambitions until achieved, and just let the record tell you: Spice makes clear exactly what she wants, and how she wants it in “So Mi Like It”, so don’t give it to her in any other way.