Nike made fanny pack slides and I think I need them

Whenever I leave the house, I run through my personal mantra: phone, keys, wallet. I makes me feel secure, and, like, incapable of failure even though I have lost my debit more times than I can count. So whenever something comes on the market that can assist me into deluding myself under the guise of simplifying my life by carrying less, I'm all ears.

Nike is set to release fanny pack sandals, which are exactly what they sound like. The brand has taken their Benassi JDI slides and affixed a zippered pouch on top, and honestly, they seem perfect for carrying the essentials. The slides come in summer-ready colorways of pink, lime, and the standard city-slicker black. They're part eye-sore, part genius, part hypebeast fever dream, and if you end up losing your keys because you lost your shoes, that's unfortunately all on you.